When we encounter significant shifts and disruptions to our daily life– good or bad– they often trigger a profound change in our happiness (again, good or bad). Winning the lottery often produces an immediate surge of excitement and euphoria, as dreams of financial security and new opportunities come flooding in. Similarly, a major loss can plunge us into a period of intense grief and despair. These events hold our attention and emotions tightly, transforming our outlook overnight, in a way that feels permanent.. However, despite the powerful initial impact of these events, drastic changes in our circumstances usually have a limited effect on our long-term happiness. Over time, we generally return to a baseline, or “set point,” of happiness that is largely influenced by personality, genetics, and habits, rather than by external conditions alone.
For most of us, we think that good fortune will bring lasting joy. For example, winning the lottery feels like it would solve many problems and bring unending happiness. Studies on lottery winners initially suggest just that—after winning, people report an intense increase in happiness and satisfaction. At first, there is excitement about newfound financial freedom, a sense of escape from past worries, and the thrill of imagining a different life. But as days turn to months, the initial euphoria fades, and the gains start to blend into daily life. This is hedonic adaptation, our minds and emotions recalibrating over time, adjusting to the new “normal” of our lives. We might still feel relief about no longer worrying about bills or indulge in the occasional luxury, but these are no longer novel sources of joy. We start seeking out the next goal or distraction, and our mood levels tend to settle back to what they were before the big win.
The same effect occurs after devastating losses. When calamity strikes, our happiness plummets. For a period, grief and sadness overshadow any sense of future hope, and daily routines feel difficult or impossible to manage. While it may not feel like it at the moment, our capacity to heal and adapt is surprisingly robust. With time and the help of those we love and care about, a sense of contentment returns. We develop new routines, invest in relationships when we lose people, or discover strengths we didn’t know we had– all of which help us to regain some of our baseline happiness. This return to baseline speaks to our innate resilience as humans. Neither the high of a big win nor the low of a major loss are permanent, even if they initially feel life-altering.
While we tend to revert to the median with big changes generally, there are some events that are likely to alter our happiness baseline more permanently. Chronic illness can have a lasting effect on happiness, when our physical health limits our daily activities or causes ongoing pain. The loss of a spouse or child is another example; people who experience such profound losses sometimes struggle to fully recover emotionally. Close relationships are foundational to our happiness, and for those who lose a deeply connected partner, the gap in companionship and support can permanently shift their baseline downwards. Financial instability—especially if it disrupts our sense of security or identity—can have a lingering effect on happiness.
If windfalls and losses alone don’t tend to sustain or diminish our happiness, what does? The elements most influential to our long-term happiness are often within our control. Strong relationships are particularly essential. Close connections—whether with family, friends, or romantic partners—provide emotional support, purpose, and resilience. When we have people to confide in, celebrate with, and lean on in hard times, our happiness tends to be more stable and less affected by external circumstances. Relationships offer a sense of consistency and connection that anchors our happiness.
Meaningful activities play a crucial role in shaping our baseline happiness. Having work, hobbies, or volunteer roles that align with our values and strengths creates a sense of purpose and flow, both of which contribute to a lasting sense of fulfillment. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi coined the term “flow” to describe the feeling of being fully immersed in an activity that challenges us and engages our abilities. Activities that bring us into flow—whether through creative work, physical exercise, or intellectual pursuits—offer intrinsic rewards and help us build a sense of accomplishment and competence. When we regularly engage in these types of activities, we not only feel happier in the moment but also strengthen our resilience over time.
Cultivating gratitude and mindfulness increase our happiness. Practicing gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack to what we have, encouraging a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. Regularly reflecting on things we’re grateful for elevates our satisfaction with life, making us more appreciative and less likely to dwell on setbacks. Mindfulness, the practice of staying present and non-judgmental, boosts happiness by helping us respond thoughtfully to challenges. When we are mindful, we are better able to experience emotions without letting them control us.
Physical health, often overlooked in discussions of happiness, contributes to our long-term well-being. Regular exercise has been shown to boost mood, reduce anxiety, and foster resilience, as it releases endorphins and promotes overall health. Taking care of our physical health through exercise, nutrition, and adequate sleep can make us more energetic and less prone to illness, thereby enhancing our day-to-day happiness.
Ultimately, while windfalls and losses can reshape our lives dramatically in the short term, they rarely define our long-term happiness. In the immediate aftermath of a big event, it often feels impossible to imagine a return to baseline. But these big, external events have less lasting impact than what is within our control– the quality of our relationships, the meaning we find in our daily activities, and the mental and physical habits we cultivate that truly determine our baseline happiness. The most reliable sources of well-being are often those we can nurture ourselves.
Doc