Being a victim means experiencing harm, suffering, or loss due to another person’s actions. Being a victim often arises out of an uncontrollable event, though sometimes it can arise from our own decisions. All of us, at some point, suffer setbacks or pain from forces largely out of our control. Recognizing this fact is essential, both for personal understanding and for society as a whole. We need ways to acknowledge that unfortunate events happen that are not our fault. Being a victim allows us to engage social structures, support networks, and other resources to help us get through these difficult times.
Suffering and loss are a part of life—a painful but temporary state. Recognizing that at times we are a victim can help us contextualize a loss. However, the idea of victimhood sometimes grows beyond a specific event to become a more central component of identity. Rather than viewing victimization as a specific and time-bound experience, it can become incorporated into our core identity. Being a victim metastasizes into victimhood when it moves from a period to be endured and moved past to a defining and permanent aspect of self. When we integrate victimhood into our identity, it changes our approach to the world, limiting our ability to find agency and empowerment.
The crux of victimhood lies in its narrative. Victims are inherently powerless and at the mercy of others– that’s the point. When we are victimized, we face a situation that is outside of our control, and that the misfortunes we face are someone else’s fault. This perspective is sometimes true, especially in cases of trauma, abuse, or systemic injustice. There are many times in the world where we suffer due to circumstances we can not influence.
The victim narrative only really gives us two options: to accept the misfortune, or to wait for someone else to come and fix it. When we constantly believe we are a victim, when victimhood becomes a part of our identity, we adopt a perspective that robs us of agency, disempowers us, and leaves us without a clear path forward. It also tends to leave us angry with others, because the point of victimhood is the idea that someone has done us wrong. The fact that I am in this situation is not my fault, I’m the victim. It’s someone else’s fault– it’s that person’s (or thing or group’s) fault– who is that person?
There are times when being acknowledged as a victim provides necessary validation, allowing us to feel seen, heard, and understood. This validation can be especially helpful when it gives legitimacy to our experiences and connects us to others who can offer empathy and support. In the immediate aftermath of a traumatic event, recognition of victimhood can create a safe space to process and heal. But staying in this space indefinitely is rarely beneficial. Once the initial pain has been validated, the question becomes: how do we move beyond it? Inevitably, moving beyond it involves shedding the victim’s perspective and adopting a new one– such as being a survivor, a rebuilder, a learner, or a creator.
When victimhood becomes an embraced part of our identity, blaming others follows. Focusing on others’ wrongdoing creates a narrative loop where, instead of finding ways to grow or change, we stay fixed on the injustice we suffered. This often fuels anger or resentment towards the purported wrong-doer, but provides no constructive way forward. When we focus on assigning blame, we remain in a reactive state, bound by the actions of others rather than defining our own responses. This limits our ability to take ownership of our own path.
When individuals who hold significant power or influence incorporate victimhood into their identity, the concept loses its intended meaning. The concept of victimhood centers around the idea of powerlessness and vulnerability. Society treats victims with care, empathy, and protection, recognizing their lack of control over their circumstances.This is rarely the case for people with significant power. In this context, claiming to be a victim serves as a form of deflection, a means of avoiding accountability or justifying actions by shifting blame elsewhere. The narrative of victimhood becomes less about genuine suffering and more about avoiding responsibility. When people with power embrace victimhood to blame others, it has another word: scapegoating.
When we embrace victimhood as a part of our identity, we place the responsibility for our problems onto others. It becomes someone else’s responsibility to fix our problems– we’re powerless, remember! This furthers our sense of dependence, and then when our problems remain, our sense of victimhood increases further. Relinquishing our sense of agency leaves us without the ability to actively improve our own situation. Waiting for others to fix our problems deepens our sense of victimhood, and focuses our attention on blaming others, rather than on what we can do to grow.
We cannot avoid suffering or injustice, and we will all sometimes be subject to unfortunate events outside of our control. When this happens, recognizing that we are a victim can create the space we need to reflect and heal. Or, we can allow the reality of being a victim to grow into an identity, dependent on others to fix our problems, absolved of agency in our lives, and full of blame for others. Let’s allow our adversity to transform us – a survivor, in recovery, something more than we were before.
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